The color palette and obvious softness.

My work email account baffles me. Sending out an important PR announcement email to the entire network via our blast email program usually requires a good few hours of testing, tweaking and adjusting words so that it will make it's way past the companies "tight" spam filters. Yet, i come into work in the morning with a plethora of fun-filled spam messages in my inbox. If you ever have any questions about penis pumps or Viagra, I am your girl. I've even got coupon codes.

Most are organ-enlargement related but this one was a gem. I'm convinced that there's some really powerful cryptic messages between these lines. I believe these came from the Mohandas Gandhi of the binary world. I've bolded some of my favorite lines.
------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Hilary Shipman [mailto:curredhj21@tischlerei-wagner.com]
Sent: Monday, April 27, 2009 12:56 PM
Subject: [Spam] With a bigger device you will feel a bigger man.

1. in the craft room i throw everything on the homework table. that clears up the floor for more mess craft making.
ok, i'm off to knit...
i told cate about st. patrick's day and ireland- she has a lot of irish ancestors through me.
last minute trip to idaho to see my sister- so much better than home blogging!
see you then!
i am trying to be a patient, kind mom.
my happy plans for this evening include knitting and watching two favorite movies: far and away followed by tristan and isolde
i am craving some sunshine.
i love the color palette and obvious softness.
i am going to turn on some good music and choose to be happy.
my happy little life
interested? i think it would be so fun.
i am so grateful for quiet time with the scriptures
i made this one for a gift, but i've already cast on another for moi.
3. i think that packages stacked all over the house are a nice decorative touch (and they remind me how good people are to donate to project 31) happy things!
i found that amazing old shirt (we're big fans) at the thrift store for $1 and it's so soft.
you've gotta love people with humor like that.
she'll be here friday and saturday april 3rd and 4th, and she'll be taking appointments for all day/ night both days at my house.
i always enjoy knitting lacy stuff but this pattern was especially fun, super easy, and portable.
let's give a hand to the world, for everything it can do!!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Note to self: the next time an important work email that you're trying to send gets blocked, change the subject line from "Introducing our new CEO" to "With a bigger device you will feel a bigger man."

Delight

I knew today was going to be a good day because i dared to put my iPod (kelpod) on shuffle and it played some of my absolute favorite songs from my favorite artists. I'm talking every song. I have a lot of random things on my iPod so the "shuffle" feature can be really risky. There's the potential for random books-on-tape tracks to play (halfway through the story) or tracks from mix's that past love's have made for me. On my way to work I'll usually listen to my regular weekly podcasts but on Friday's i stray from talk-radio type clips and instead prefer melody.

Speaking of podcasts, maybe my elation is a product of aftermath because last night was absolutely fan-tas-tic. I went to go see my favorite podcast (This American Life) performed live at NYU. I felt like a child watching Sesame Street live, on the edge of my chair - big goofy smile, laughing and clapping loudly at everything. Ira Glass is the cutest thing since baby shoes. I want to hang him from my rear view mirror and hit a button that will cause him to giggle uncontrollably. If you've never listened to it, are you on crack? You may be. But if I'm mistaken, go download it - now. I'll have to write a separate post on TAL (oh yes, there's even acronymatic lingo) because i can go on and on...

Lastly, I'm having a damn good eyebrow day. When I'm not happy with my eyebrow artwork, my entire day is thrown off. I mean - check out that killer arch, would you?

Multi-purpose "signs"

Signs make things seem so official. Someone feels that a statement is so very important that it must be adorning a sheet of thin metal, posted up for all to see.

...this is exactly the reason that when i find errors in signage, I find it absolutely amusing and completely fantastic.

Exhibit A
I was in a restaurant last week and came upon this beaut at the salad bar. I was so thrown off that i had to take a picture of it.



- Shouldn't there be something to balance this sign out? There are only clean plates on this salad bar. To warrant a glance of my eye I'd appreciate it if there were a "Place Used Plates Here" sign to even things out, along with a stack of plates littered with tomato snot and withered lettuce, oozy with chlorophyll.

-Maybe they were just gloating on the fact that they clean their plates? In that case the "clean" warrants some italicization.

-Are they calling their customers pigs? Like, "Hey, slob. How about you not reuse your plate to get your second helping? There's an entire stack of clean one's here."

Exhibit B
A sign on the refrigerator at work



-What's up with the quotation marks? Is that sarcasm? Is this a "joke" and you're actually going to dispose of my entire stack of lean cuisines every day rather than at the end of the week like you "promised"?

- Is this a ploy to keep things out of your icy belly?

Exhibit C
Plastic cutlery dispenser at work



- In case you forgot, spoons are no longer limited to just soup. Having cereal? Grab a spoon! Chili? We've got the tool for you. Oatmeal? You're all set.

- And why are the spoons the only one's labeled as versatile? Can i not use a fork to eat my salad and stab myself in the eye when i don't feel like working any more?

'sup, girl?

be mine.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Never let the microwave run full length until it beeps. Always always turn it off before it beeps, preferably at :02. :01 can be risky but it's fun to take risks, isn't it? Like holding in a sneeze for as long as you can. If i let it beep then how will Panasonic ever show me any respect? I'm in charge here. Cut film cover to vent. Remove from crisping sleeve. Walk on vent grates in the sidewalk and have fun plummeting to your death. I swear you'll drop right into the molten crispy center of the earth, i prefer the cold so why risk it? Close the bedroom door and tap, tap tap the knob. Wait that was only three, tap again to make four. Odd? Odd is never good. Four makes even steven. Four it is. Never leave your shoes sole-up. Do you want everyone reading you so easily? Run your tongue along the roof of your mouth, the thin bone is slightly over to the left. Not centered and that is responsible for my occasional bouts of vertigo. Ears shmears! Get up from the table, but last. Last so that you're the last one to take a sip of water. Water only. ah, yes - walk away. You're all fools! Should i tell them?

an artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he, for some reason, thinks it would be a good idea to give them.

departure, but hardly departed.

The world lost a very special person today, and it's no coincidence that the weather cried for her along with the rest of us.

I'm usually wordy, today not so much. April fools day you say? Surely the joke is on us.